I love being a mom. I love being at home. I love watching my daughter. I love keeping the house clean. I love making meals for my husband. I love being a stay at home mom! ... but I didn't always.
I was the girl who never stopped for anything. Every hour of my day was packed with extra curricular activities, jobs, hanging out with friends, homework, etc. This continued into my college years and all the way up until my last day teaching. But I knew one thing, I wanted more than anything to be a stay at home mom.
My husband told me that I needed some time to be just me before our daughter was born. He went to work full time and I got to stay home. Stay home alone. With no obligations. Just me and the house and the little person in my belly. I had no idea what to do. The first few days I frolicked in my freedom and binge watched Netflix series, napped excessively, and enjoyed eating meals at home.
That lasted a whole three days. By the third day I was losing my mind. I wanted to get a job, do volunteer work, something, anything. I couldn't handle being here. I had to find something to do. I began to think about what in the world I was going to do when Natalie was born. I really began to doubt my dream. I probably wasn't cut out to be a stay at home mom.
I survived the summer by going on walks with my next door neighbor (who was also expecting), organizing and cleaning the house, creating in the kitchen, and sneaking in a nap here and there. I still worried every day that being a stay at home mom might not be my thing.
Well, our little girl was born. She was so precious, so tiny, so helpless. She needed me more than anything. She was dependent on me for everything. I thought to myself, "There goes Jessica, I'm no longer myself. I'm just her mom."
The first few weeks were exhausting. Waking up every 1-2 hours to feed her little belly. Patting her back until that stubborn burp came up. Rubbing her belly and pedaling her legs to help her with her gas bubbles. Changing diaper after diaper after diaper. Bouncing her. Soothing her. Bathing her. Feeding her again. Helping her fall asleep. Dressing her. Doing everything for her.
I did all this and more, and never felt fulfilled. All I got in return was more crying and more needs. I still didn't think I was cut out for the mom job. All until this.
I was the girl who never stopped for anything. Every hour of my day was packed with extra curricular activities, jobs, hanging out with friends, homework, etc. This continued into my college years and all the way up until my last day teaching. But I knew one thing, I wanted more than anything to be a stay at home mom.
My husband told me that I needed some time to be just me before our daughter was born. He went to work full time and I got to stay home. Stay home alone. With no obligations. Just me and the house and the little person in my belly. I had no idea what to do. The first few days I frolicked in my freedom and binge watched Netflix series, napped excessively, and enjoyed eating meals at home.
That lasted a whole three days. By the third day I was losing my mind. I wanted to get a job, do volunteer work, something, anything. I couldn't handle being here. I had to find something to do. I began to think about what in the world I was going to do when Natalie was born. I really began to doubt my dream. I probably wasn't cut out to be a stay at home mom.
I survived the summer by going on walks with my next door neighbor (who was also expecting), organizing and cleaning the house, creating in the kitchen, and sneaking in a nap here and there. I still worried every day that being a stay at home mom might not be my thing.
Well, our little girl was born. She was so precious, so tiny, so helpless. She needed me more than anything. She was dependent on me for everything. I thought to myself, "There goes Jessica, I'm no longer myself. I'm just her mom."
The first few weeks were exhausting. Waking up every 1-2 hours to feed her little belly. Patting her back until that stubborn burp came up. Rubbing her belly and pedaling her legs to help her with her gas bubbles. Changing diaper after diaper after diaper. Bouncing her. Soothing her. Bathing her. Feeding her again. Helping her fall asleep. Dressing her. Doing everything for her.
I did all this and more, and never felt fulfilled. All I got in return was more crying and more needs. I still didn't think I was cut out for the mom job. All until this.
Suddenly, I could care less if she pooped all over her cute outfit. Puked all in my hair? Didn't matter. Screamed at me until 2am? Yep, I still adore her. Want to be attached to me all afternoon instead of letting me do chores? No biggie. That little smile forever changed me.
Just having that little face smile at me turned my whole day (and life) around. I personally think a major part of baby blues is that no one smiles at you for a large portion of your day. Being a mom can be thankless. It's stressful. It's hard. It's exhausting. It's all part of being a parent.
So I propose this. Every mom you see, smile at her. When her kids aren't letting her know they appreciate her, you can. Give her a smile, any smile. The "you're beautiful even with your spit up shirt and bags under your eyes" smile, or the "don't even worry that your baby is screaming" smile. Even a "hey, you're not alone" smile will do too.
Us moms need to stick together, because the world needs us, our little (and not so little ones) need us.
Now, you can ignore my opinion if you want... I am just a rookie. Only been at this a few months :)
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